end year's resolution update

i do like my resolutions and frequent updates, but, and let me be frank: i forgot. i forgot what i resolved. i forgot i resolved period. so the final update is a mixed bag. here is the original post if you are interested. it's apparent to me that my resolutions must not have been very important this year, for the way i ignored them. but i found some things i didn't know i was looking for and achieved some things personally that were more important than what i set out to do. i'll keep it short- away we go with roundup....

1) learn 4 new things: i did learn to XC ski, and i didn't like it. i learned how to hike up mountains but i have a lot more learnin to do. i learned how to listen to and honor my body and my inner voice, thank God i did this before i was 50. i learned to carve wood...and that i have a knack for it, but if i want to be good, i have a lot of practice to do. (story of my life - i can be fair to good at most anything creative i try but am never excellent because i'm too lazy to do the work.)

2) running stuff: i did run and finish 3 official ultras, and tons of fatass runs. i volunteered at an ultra (during a hurricane no less). i failed to PR in the marathon (or half) , 5k and 12 hour. i did yoga at least once each week (when i was healthy) and running did not become my God. in fact, it became even less important this year, though i managed to still run, walk and hike nearly 2000 miles. i just stopped obsessing over it so dang much. this is better than a PR.

3) grow a bigger garden: the garden situation this year sucked, plant whisperer i am not. we have very little sunlight in our backyard and i am fighting a losing battle. someday....

4) live like i'm dyin: oh boy, real progress. from finally planning a fun family vacation for next month to casting fear aside and giving my body and mind some interesting outdoor challenges. i embraced many more small moments with my kids, went to the grocery store in pajamas, said 'yes' to invitations and 'no' to useless fretting. i even sucked down my fear and gritted my teeth and went on a few amusement park rides. i hated every second of it, but i did it, because maybe i would change my mind... maybe i would learn to like them. i didn't, but i tried. that's enough. i am learning to stop avoiding social situations, new people and difficult relationships.

5) read my bible: i did. and i studied and i cross referenced and i puzzled and i broadened and somehow i am finishing the year less conservative and judgemental, like the christians that people love to hate, and more accepting and compassionate like what you wish we all were...like this Jesus fellow that you hear such nice things about. God help me, i ain't perfect. God willing i'll be given lots of time on earth before He "finishes the work" He started in me. i'm not looking forward to any december 2012 doomsday crappola - i got more stuff to take care of here.


if you've noticed i have a bit of blogger's blog lately. i very much want to share things with you, but i hardly know what this blog is about anymore. i love to run and adventure and i pursue it with passion, but more and more i want to keep my experiences for myself. what else shall i tell you? what else would you care to hear? perhaps something to think about next year....

i hope your 2011 was blissful, and that your 2012 is filled with adventure and board games and hand holding and scenic vistas and breathtaking art and aloneness and togetherness and acceptance and peace. and love - lots of love. from me to you - have a blessed and fascinating new year!